Notes from Mo's Diary:
Sunday, October 12, 5am.
What a vacation!
I arrived in hot,sweaty,muggy Manila yesterday and my whole body seemed to burst in flames. Perspiration in rivulets steamed from my pores, and I was drenched by the time I got home.
After the cold, biting weather in Paris, arriving in Manila is like entering a Finnish sauna, although this time, there's no exit door.
But hey, home sweet home! I missed my dog and his snore that sounds like a derailed train sidetracked by a 747, and I missed the view from my pad. The parents were all relieved that I was back safe and sound from wherever I came from, but Mom all but cried when she heard I brought her favorite Diorissimo perfume.
I couldn't sleep and was too restless to stay in bed, and just gave up sleeping.I ended up wandering around Eastwood. The rays of the sun hurt my eyes and only realized belatedly that it was almost 11am, Manila time. It was a Sunday, and people were milling about in weekend mode, but they'd stop and smile, others would wave, some came running when they saw me. It was heartwarming to see folks just happy that I was back. Many would start clicking with their cellphones, cameras at the ready to take a picture with me. It's funny how the same thing would happen in Paris. The chic Parisians often stopped and stared, and scratched their heads and wondered who this ugly, short guy is being besieged by fans. Was I the Mini-Me Filipino version, a celebrity circus freak? My heart melted when folks (here at home or in Paris)go out of their way to greet me.But when it was starting to feel like a deluge, I smile,wave and disappeared from the crowd.
Whew! Being a celebrity could be sometimes tiring. I quickly ducked towards a movie theatre and I bought a ticket for the film Body of Lies. At last! Time to relax!The dark, enveloping theatre was cold, and it was a relief to be alone, without any fans bugging me.
Two hours quickly flashed by, and while I was mesmerized by Di Caprio's acting, I wasn't so thrilled by this movie. It was not the greatest Ridley Scott film. I loved Gladiator! This movie felt more like a novel, which it really is, before movie options were cemented. A multi-layered novel, Body of Lies has a complex, twisting plots and it awakened in me an interest to read about Middle Eastern history, the roots of terrorism and . . .Mark Strong. Golly, Gee. This actor, who portrayed the suave, but ruthless head of Jordanian intelligence is such a great thespian, and almost ran away with the lead role from Di Caprio.
I sauntered out from the movie theatre and belatedly decided to dash to my car. I didn't want to eat at Eastwood and be besieged by fans again. Instead, I wanted to drive around the city and get my bearings again.
I walked towards my car, and stopped, looked and listened. I heard about Mojo's thirst for vengeance, and his first object of desire was to smear poop all over my car. I looked around, then suddenly dropped to my knees and looked under. No, no, everything's clear. Whew!! If Mojo so much as touches my car, things would get ugly and there's no way in hell pranks between us would stop.
I start the car, and to be honest, I don't know where I'll be going. It's a Sunday, and the streets are clear. I can drive in top speed, and nobody will give a hoot about the speed limit. I cruise from C5 and ended up going to Edsa, and hot darn, I almost crashed the car when I saw this ginormous ad of Piolo Pascual for Bench. Is that real, or was that photoshopped? My God, I'm not a homo, but his wang looks like a huge cat is alive and sleeping under the Bench underwear. The listeners of Magic will have a blast hearing about this one.
Horns started blaring from the back, and twenty of us must have stopped for a mini-second to stare at the ad.
Looking at Piolo Pascual's face reminded me of Paris. The streets were literally flooded with the best looking species of man and womanhood on Planet Earth, and everyone was just plain gorgeous wearing their most fashionable clothes in colors of black or grey. Why is it that wearing black or grey seems to be the unspoken sartorial rule when you're in a big, cosmopolitan city like Paris or New York? Well, Piolo could walk around in Paris in that black underwear and still be deemed fashionable in that city. Whereas I would be boxed to smithereens if I did the same prank.
My eyes felt droopy and it was a sign for me to head for home. I was grateful that the car felt like a magic carpet ride and in fifteen minutes, I was home, splattered on my bed, snoring like my dog.
October 13, 1am
I woke up with a start and I almost dashed to the shower for the Goodtimes show, but when I looked at the clock beside me, it was still one in the morning. The trip to Paris really screwed my sense of time.
I was suddenly hungry and ordered a pizza from my favorite pizza place Brooklyn. God, my body feels like it's ready to go out and start the day.
I left the computer open and it was blinking. I was about to put it off when I decided to just open my bookmarked pages.
Holy Cow! I almost died laughing when I opened my Spike bookmarked page and saw the top 15 hot girls gone fugly. Renee Zellwegger,Kirsten Dunst, Madonna, and No.1 is Melanie Griffith.
According to Spike.com:
"Glory Days: Griffith was the original party girl. In the late 1970s she was best known for playing the sexy nymphet in films such as Night Moves, Smile and The Drowning Pool. She had a career resurgence in the mid 1980s with roles in such films as Body Double and Working Girl, showing that she could perfectly mix sexiness and comedy.
What went wrong? Oh Lordy! These days Melanie Griffith looks like a witch. All her partying and drug taking is etched onto her face. Griffith looks rough. Like that old saying going around, "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig."
Is there hope? Melanie Griffith should ask her mom, actress Tippi Hedren, for advice on how to age gracefully. Then, she might have a chance."
Bitchy!!!
Hey, what if we do that same list here for our local gals. So many sexy gals have gone fugly in a few short years. I could name a lot of names in a minute. That would be interesting.
I scrawl along to other websites and laughed at a 105 year old woman who claims to be still a virgin, but my attention zigzagged and my mouth almost dropped open when I saw a picture of a young, and really young Kim Kardashian at 14. Holy Moly! Her face looks young, but the body belonged to a Playboy magazine cover. "Jail bait talaga!" Mojo almost screamed. Ok, ok. Horndogs who want to see the picture should search for it themselves. But boy, listeners tomorrow should hear about this.
A screen popped out from nowhere, and I realized it was my pop out flasher which searches for the best news on the Planet. It screamed a headline that Jamie Spears is pregnant again!!! Then a picture of Britney comes out, and I realize that her latest album Womanizer is out. I clicked on the YouTube site, and man the video is out. Is she hot or not? The body is back definitely, but boy, the video veers on skanky.
The doorbell rings and my pizza has arrived. That's well and good. My stomach's grumbling, and it's funny, but I'm starting to get sleepy too. . .
Oct 13, 4:50 am
Good Lord in heaven! My alarm has sounded and it sounds like a fire drill gone bad, when cars are wheezing by, and ambulances are crashing towards each other because of a major disaster.
I looked at the clock, and it's 5:15. Time to move it!
I don't know what alarm Mojo is using, no wonder he doesn't wake up, but I use one that sounds like two planes have collided and I'm the ambulance driver in charge of ferrying 300 hurt, injured passengers to the hospital.
I rush to the Magic building, and was impressed that Mojo and Grace and Miguel's car is in the parking lot already. A prank?
I was very paranoid, but when I entered the station, everybody was smiling and was in a great mood. Grace Lee looked spectacular and her twin tower knockers didn't seem to suffer from eating Korean and Japanese food for a week. Mojo looked mighty pleased that I was back, or was that a ruse? Golly, is Mojo wearing a mohawk? It looked hideous and two years too late from its heyday look. Even Angelina Jolie's son isn't wearing a mohawk anymore.
I put on the headphone, which was whacked in half when Mojo avenged and threw poop back at us for that poop prank.
I looked at my desk, and it seems the good people from Flapjacks are giving away 100 free breakfast meals to 100 listeners of Goodtimes. That's creative. But how can a hundred people win in 3 hours?
Grace Lee was looking at the prizes for the 100 listeners and said, "Why don't we say a password so that the listeners can just say that at the door, and they can come in Flapjacks and eat?"
"Anne Curtis's mole?" I joked.
"Great!" Grace Lee smiles.
"Boring. How about Piolo Pascual's wang is. . . have you seen the Edsa ad?" Mojo's eyes are a-glitter dreaming about Piolo's cat in the bag.
What a mo! I wanted to say something else when Mojo interrupted me.
"Hey, Chris Brown and girlfriend Rihanna will be here for a concert on Nov.16. I'll be bringing an umbrella so that she sings ..."
"No. . . .!" I cringed.
"Hey guys, we're all here early, let's start the show right now," Grace Lee beseechingly looked at us. "No more fights till after the show?"
And so at 6:15, a first for us I think, we go on air.
It felt so good to be back, and speak, and it seems all of us did not go up for air until an hour later talking about so many topics which I've researched last night.
So many things were happening and from nowhere,there was an urgent telephone call for me. I take the phone call inside the booth. It was the most hunted criminal on earth, Benny Laden aka Bin Laden, and it seemed he wanted me to interview him about his upcoming book of poetry.
I had no choice but to interview him on air. The commercials stopped, and Benny, with a multi-million prize tag on his head was happy to read some of his poetry on air.
" When I travel through your soulful eyes,
and fly you through my magic carpet. . .
our love grows more and more each day. .
like love that crashes through the hearts of the infidel. ."
What a raving lunatic. When I said he was crazy, Benny Laden calls me a 'product of a mother whore!"
I let him rant on and on until his third poem. I didn't know whether to retch and vomit or laugh. I hope he can be the chief occupant of Guantanamo before it's closed by President Barack Obama.
Sweet Jesus in Heaven!
We still have a few hours to go and I'm fired up and ready to rock and roll. Hey, guess what good news I've heard. Anne Curtis has broken up with Sam Milby. Good times!
!Postscript: Some of the topics in this blog were discussed in the Goodtimes show today, specifically the movie 'Body of Lies'; Piolo Pascual's risque's Bench ad; the top 15 hot celebrities gone fugly; Kim Kardashian pictures at 14 years old; the news of Jamie Lynn's 2nd pregnancy; Mojo's new mohawk hairdo; Flapjacks giving away 100 meals with the unique password and Benny Laden tormenting the airwaves with three of his poems.
I imagined Mo coming home from Paris and just wandering around on a typical Sunday, watching a movie and acclimatizing himself to Manila again by riding around in his car, getting used to the heat and heartbeat of Manila again. Jetlagged, he doesn't sleep until he goes off to work in the Goodtimes show early in the morning, meeting Mojo and Grace Lee again after his quick sojourn from Paris.
'Notes from Mo's Diary' is a work of fiction, and thus Mo's thoughts and reflections on this blog do not reflect the real Mo Twister's views, but comes from the imagination and point of view of this blogger. Goodtimes! )
