Notes from Triste's Diary
People have this mistaken notion that Chicago is a city of concrete and glass: a windy,turgid city with cold,soulless people.
Before I transferred here from Manila, I thought the same thing, but once I got here, I never realized that the city is surrounded by Lake Michigan, and that the people are very friendly and down to earth, reminding me that Chicago is a big big city with its Midwest values intact. Think of Oprah and Barack Obama's warmth, and you get my point.
I'm very lucky that the view from my boyfriend's apartment is just fantastic. I get to see the Magnificent Mile (the northern part of Michigan Avenue between the Chicago River and Lake Shore Drive)at all hours of the day in his 66th floor loft, and I never tire of the view, alternately looking at the harbor and the buildings lining by the lake.
It's ironic that the beauty I see outside does not reflect my current emotional state, which is miserable beyond compare! I long to go home to Manila and cry my heart out in familiar surroundings.I'm waiting for the weekday to end, and by Saturday,I might broach this delicate topic over dinner with my boyfriend. Hopefully, I'll be on the way home to spend Christmas with my family.
I'm homesick, and to keep my mind away from feelings of sadness, I while away my time listening to the Good Times show via their website. Or listen to the audio recording when I can't sleep at night.Today's show hit me hard. Listening to caller 'Jason' talking about leaving his girlfriend because she is not Chinese hit the issues affecting me straight in the bull's eye. It's serendipity. A perfect chance to reflect on my life circumstances this moment.
Like Jason, my boyfriend is Filipino-Chinese. I don't know about Jason, but my boyfriend belongs to the top '1% of 1%' category, meaning his family belongs to one of the richest families in the Philippines, as evidenced by his tony address in Lake Shore Drive where he stays while he finishes his MBM at Kellogg Business School of Management.
I don't have one drop of Chinese blood in my veins, and there lies the problem. I met X in Kellogg too, and we've been classmates since the schoolyear started in September.Being both Pinoys in a foreign land, we clicked instantly and in a matter of weeks we fell in love and lived together.
His parents learned a few weeks about it and visited us here in Chicago, and X has not talked about it, but I could feel that he got a lashing from his folks about my background. I'm distantly related to a President, two Senators, perhaps ten congressmen in the Philippines.And yet, I don't seem to add up to their standards? Why? Because my ancestors are not peasants from some remote province in China like Guangduo?
I didn't like it one bit. My boyfriend has been quietly fuming about it too. He just told me that if his inheritance gets screwed, then his parents can stuff their money up their asses. I had to laugh at that one.
It was funny but I had genuine worries. I love my boyfriend very much, and there lies the rub. If I didn't love him, then I'll just be oblivious to the cultural wars going on around me. But I don't want him to be miserable in any way.
I worry too about the shock he will undergo when he loses his inheritance for love. X is used to the Ritz lifestyle: he uses the helicopter in Manila like a taxi, I kid you not.
But to tell you the truth, it's the least of my worries.I wonder if he can survive the ostracism hurled out to him by his family. Will he be still be happy in the future when his kids aren't visited by his parents? Will he still look kindly to me after years of estrangement from his family?
I don't know, and that's why I want to flee to Manila for the holidays. I want to think things over. I'm afraid that this week, my boyfriend will defy everyone and go down on his knees to ask me to marry him. I don't want to see any kind of hesitation on my face.
It's a tough situation I'm in, and the magnificent views outside can't answer the doubts inside my heart.
But I can laugh at the meantime. I hear a dog-catfight in the background, the Twister fighting with Mojo over Jason's problem.
Oh well, a little respite like this goes a long way when one is deep in an emotional hell-hole. For a brief, brief moment, I allow myself to get silly, laugh out loud even if there's no one around. I'll think about my problems again after the radio show ends. In the meantime,I listen in again and Mo Twister is boasting about being in the cover of IQ magazine, and taunts Mojo for being in the cover of 'Dumb-Ass' magazine.. Uh oh. .here they go again :)
(Postscript: Jason is a real caller to the Good Times December 1 show, and his problem is about his conservative Chinese family's objections with his Filipina girlfriend.
It's a common problem in today's times, and I wondered how a fictional character would react with the same problem. Despite finding herself in luxurious circumstances, Triste is miserable, finding out that no amount of money could offset the emotional problems she is inenviably facing.
'Notes from Triste's Diary' is purely fictional and comes from the imagination and point of view of this blogger. Thanks to arch2452 for the Lakeshore Drive photos from the viewpoint of the John Hancock building and the Chicago Harbor. A big thank you too to earnshavian for the view of Lake Michigan during sunset.
I was fortunate to stay at the John Hancock building for a time visiting relatives who lived in this iconic building, and the views are just truly awesome from a very high floor. Many mornings, the window views were foggy because I was literally nose to nose with cloud formations - it was that high! I thought it would be nice to share this experience to all of you readers. Goodtimes!!)
