Photo: www.amazon.com
Mo Twister did something very uncharacteristic and told a story about watching Oprah and catching guest M.Gary Neuman talk about his new book "The Truth About Cheating."
M. Gary Neuman is a Florida psychotherapist, rabbi, creator of the internationally recognized Sandcastles Programs for children of divorce, and author of "Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way", and "Emotional Infidelity" and "How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and Other Secrets to a Great Marriage". You usually know he's the guest because he has a skullcap that rabbis use.
Anyway, the Twister said that there are five rules that Neuman advocates women should follow so that men will not cheat.
1 - Always forgive
2 - Have sex on demand
3 - Lavish praise on his ability to bring home the bacon
4 - Rarely let him out with his friends
5 - Take an interest in his hobbies
A lot of debate went on with an adamant Grace Lee infuriated that women should have "sex on demand."
Of course the Mohandas loved point no.2 as all hot bloodied males think it's their God given right to have sex like food in the ref.
What I found interesting though are six pointers that is the fulcrum of the book. When do you know your husband is cheating?
According to a brief summary written in the Neuman book featured in www.amazon.com, here are the signposts that the husband is cheating:
"1. He spends more time away from home.
Most cheating men surveyed said that more time spent away from home was a sign that they were close to or already involved in infidelity. Although you can’t keep tabs on your husband’s whereabouts during the workday, it still seems that cheating men find extra time to slip away from home, not just during work hours.
2. You have sex infrequently.
Only 43 percent of men surveyed said that frequency of sex with their wives decreased once the infidelity began. Why such a small number? Because in many struggling marriages at high risk for infidelity, couples only have sex about once every couple of months.
3. He avoids contact with you.
The contact you have with your husband, even if it is about the ordinary business of life, helps you develop a general awareness of each other. His avoidance of your calls or desire not to spend time with you points to a desire to disconnect, whether or not he is conscious of it.
4. He criticizes you more.
Often, cheating men will criticize their wives seemingly out of the blue. If you notice your husband criticizing you for things he used to find amusing, keep your eyes open for other signs.
5. He starts more fights with you.
The criticism mentioned above often leads to more fights. If your marriage becomes increasingly contentious, you may be at risk for infidelity.
6. He mentions another woman, a female “friend,” in casual conversation.
Most cheating occurs with friends, not one-night stands just for sex. When your husband begins to talk about a woman at the office he really admires, he may be telling you about his potential mistress straight to your face. "
